A Joke A Day – Page 10 – Julia Clement

Airline Food

“Why is airline food so bad?”

“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”

Day 123,456, still not Godot.

DEATH steps in.

There’s a new dating app out for people who want to date Australians.

It’s called Ockr.

Their slogan is “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe.”

Yes Ms Willis, one does work from home.

(This is a reference to current NZ politics)

I’m over donating to cancer.

The cynical bastard takes our money and keeps killing people.

WTF – Briscoes are having a sale! ???

It’s the end of civilisation as we know it.

Next you’ll have men and women marrying each other and we’ll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.

I think I’ve got importer syndrome.

That feeling all my success comes from overseas.

Methamphetamine, morphine, methadone, and cocaine found in Auckland sewer system.

Where’s the crocodiles?

Remember what happened last time Britain left Europe?

The Saxons invaded.

Me: Wouldn’t giant hologram projectors need a lot of power?

Them: Yes, powered by the giant coal fired power stations in Australia.

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