Joke-a-day – Page 35 – Julia Clement

Toilet Humour

For a person who dislikes toilet humour, it’s amazing how many of my jokes involve lavatories.

If there are driverless cars, why aren’t there riderless bicycles?

I like kangaroos …

Their courts are so efficient.

Breaking News: I dropped a tray of crockery!

Q: How many homophobes does it take to change a tyre?

A: One, the others stay in the car so they don’t touch his bum.

Ever noticed how they like to invent new names for old things so they can claim they’re a new idea.

Take driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on”

A large number of experiments have shown crystals to be just as effective as homeopathy without running the risk of water borne diseases.

My dog growls when he dreams.

I think he’s been sleeping ruff.

I hate the way autocorrect manages to choose the wrong word.

The price of intelligibility is consonant vigilante.

Several brands of over the rim toilet cleaners have recycling marks.

Please don’t.