Joke-a-day – Page 7 – Julia Clement

Forgetful

Sometimes I forget I’m dead.

The woman who inherited my PC is baffled whenever she notices I’ve been posting on it.

Rugby may be a game of two halves but circles are a game of 2π.

(Sorry about the late posting)

OK Julia, you’re supposed to be a comedian.

Think of something funny to say.

No spoilers please, but Hamlet does win in the end, doesn’t he?

I mean Shakespeare wouldn’t be such an amateur that the hero loses?

Life guard at the pool said my swimsuit was too revealing then asked if I was male or female.

I replied “Then it can’t be that revealing.”

I wrote a letter today and used the word “Mnemonic” four times.

Every single time I spelled it wrong, so I wrote this little mnemonic to remember it “Many Nematodes Eat Mushy Organic Noodles In Cafes.”

Which would be great if only I could remember how to spell nematoads.

My doctor told me I need a lighter diet so I wrote The Helium Cookbook.

I wanted to take the Waterview tunnel, but someone told me where it came out.

SPOILER!

I intend to live forever, or die trying

(Paraphrase of Joseph Heller’s, Catch-22. Said about Yossarian.)

I don’t understand how Internet trolls function.

How do they get decent WIFI under the bridge?