When someone describes a first world problem, I like to reply “Dreadful, that’s like something out of Dickens” shake my head & walk off …
I would have made a great Disney villain.
Category: Joke-a-day
Experimental Joke-a-day
Autocorrect for Real
Why does autocorrect “fix” everything except my real typos?
Coalition
Best thing about being in a coalition?
You can blame unpopular policies on your partners.
Worst thing?
You get blamed for their bad policies.
Tap dancing Lesson
Tap dancing lesson #1: Drink two pots of tea with no toilet breaks.
Geniuses
If I seem smart it’s because I’m copying over the shoulders of geniuses.
Dinner
Tonight’s dinner was bought to me by the letter C:
- Chilli,
- cucumber,
- courgette,
- cavocado, and
- comato;
into the blender and eaten with Corn chips.
Pottering
So let’s get this straight. Harriet Potter was forced to stay in the closet by her transphobic uncle & aunt?
Innuendoscope
I’ve just invented the innuendoscope.
It has a small but powerful loudspeaker in the tip that tells risque jokes from inside your anus.
Decaf
Q: Where is decaf coffee made?
A: Ground zero.
Mickey Mouse
If you want a picture of the future, imagine Mickey Mouse’s shoe stamping on a human face — forever. (After George Orwell, 1984)