Joke-a-day – Page 9 – Julia Clement

Censor

I hate the way autocorrect censors my posts.

Every fishing line.

All the bars and bottle stores being closed at Easter is driving me to drink.

A shart is just nature’s way of reminding you to change your underwear.

I think I’ll start a beauty parlor promoted as “By bad spellers for poor readers.”

I’ll call it Heredressers.

I’ve dropped all my jokes about polygons … too edgy.

I think my Google-foo is failing.

I typed in my symptoms & it said I have cannelloni.

Not even close, my pastaia swears I had fettuccine.

After decades of slaving in the data mines I’ve caught hexadecaphobia.

All the bugs in programs I write are lovingly hand crafted.

My new diet is so strict I’m only allowed micronutrients.

Are the people who vape vapers or vapists?

Either way don’t ever call them vapid!