AucklandComedy – Page 10

Trickle Down

I refuse to surrender my country to people who think climate change is fake and trickle down is real.

The opposite of “Woke” is “Sleeping”.

NZ politics is a case of Winston, Looseton.

Was the Labour/Green proposed tax on water aimed at homeopaths?

Sibling Rivalry: My Roomba just choked itself trying to eat the big vacuum cleaner’s power cord.

LSD’s original name was LSD-25.

Dr Albert Hofmann synthesized new forms until #25 when flying purple giraffes blocked the lab’s portcullis.

I’ve just invented the innuendoscope.

It has a small but powerful loudspeaker in the tip that tells risque jokes from inside your anus.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine Mickey Mouse’s shoe stamping on a human face — forever.

(After George Orwell, 1984)

Sometimes I forget I’m dead.

The woman who inherited my PC is baffled whenever she notices I’ve been posting on it.

I wanted to take the Waterview tunnel, but someone told me where it came out.

SPOILER!