AucklandComedy – Page 2

Idearrhea

Idearrhea: What happens when your head can’t contain all your thoughts.

Why are earthquakes centred 45 km underground?

Cowards!

Come up to the surface and fight fair you trembling tremors.

MCs introduce nearly all comedians as “My very good friend.”

Now I’m streaming comedy, is it “My very good Facebook friend?”

John suspected it was going to be a bad day when he saw his wife’s relationship status had changed to “Widowed”.

I think I’ll start a beauty parlor promoted as “By bad spellers for poor readers.”

I’ll call it Heredressers.

Are the people who vape vapers or vapists?

Either way don’t ever call them vapid!

Being taken seriously as a comedian only sounds like an oxymoron.

I hate the way autocorrect manages to choose the wrong word.

The price of intelligibility is consonant vigilante.

I had to come out of the closet.

It was full of dresses that no longer fitted

65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs.

Including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.

Too soon?