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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Tag: DEATH

Virgins

Virgins

Stop sending me virgins …

Do I look like a chaperone?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 9, 2026January 4, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

Queue Jumping

Queue Jumping

Julia: I think I am dying.

DEATH, The Grin Reaper: I’m awfully busy, wait your turn Julia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 6, 2026January 2, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Sick

Phase

Phase

“Don’t worry about being alive. I know it’s just a phase you’re going through, you’ll grow out of it.” The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 4, 2026January 2, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

Kill or Die

Kill or Die

Some comedians will kill. Others will die.

Either way I’m happy.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 3, 2026December 29, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

Student Health

Student Health

David Seymore: Too many children are spreading Covid at school.

DEATH: Not wanting to endorse breathing, but can’t you limit it to their breaks?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 31, 2025December 29, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Covid, DEATH, NZComedy, school

Berries

Berries

DEATH: All berries are edible. Some only once.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 29, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Berries, Comedy, DEATH, Food, NZComedy

Comedian Died?

Comedian Died?

“They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.” [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 26, 2025December 24, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Zombies

Laughing

Laughing

DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life.

(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 24, 2025December 24, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Laughter, Life, NZComedy

Julia’s Sick

Julia’s Sick

Julia: I have a bad cold.

DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 22, 2025December 18, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Bad Cold, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

A Bad Cold?

A Bad Cold?

I really like my new name.

I am now called “It’s just a bad cold.”

—

The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 21, 2025December 18, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

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Events

  • March 20, 2026
  • Pt Chev, Comedy in Coyle Park
    • March 20, 2026
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    • April 3, 2026
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