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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: September 2025

Maga

Maga

Make America great again.

Make cheese grate again.

Make Kool-Aid grape again.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 30, 2025September 27, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy

A sleep and a forgetting.

A sleep and a forgetting.

It’s better to have dreamed and wakened than to suffer incurable insomnia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 29, 2025September 27, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Dreamed, Insomnia, Slept

Winter is a fake

Winter is a fake

Winter’s not real.

It’s just a plot by Big Puffer Jacket!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 28, 2025September 27, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, ConspiracyTheorists, NZComedy, Puffer Jacket, Winter

Schrödinger’s Cat

Schrödinger’s Cat

It was over 100 years ago.

One way or another Schrödinger’s cat is dead.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 27, 2025September 24, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Cats, Comedy, NZComedy, Schrödinger, Schrodinger

Wikipedia Password

Wikipedia Password

I woke up today to find an email from Wikipedia.

Someone had tried to break into my account.

Luckily my password is a very strong one: VeryStrongOne123!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 26, 2025September 24, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Password, Wikipedia

Placebos

Placebos

My hypochondria’s so bad my doctor prescribes me broad spectrum placebos.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 25, 2025September 24, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Hypochondria, NZComedy, Placebos

Light bulbs

Light bulbs

It’s getting dark outside.

I think I’ll go and panic buy light bulbs.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 24, 2025September 24, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Lightbulbs, NZComedy

Toads

Toads

Q: Why did the chicken cross the toad?

A: Autocorrect!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 23, 2025September 20, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Autocorrect, Comedy, CrossThetoad, Toad

Maxi-dress

Maxi-dress

I look pretty hot in everything except maxi-dresses.

Nobody looks good in a maxi-dress.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 22, 2025September 22, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Maxi-dress, NZComedy

Time and ?

Time and ?

Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 21, 2025September 20, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, EarthWorms, NZComedy, Peristalsis, Time

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Events

  • December 9, 2025
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • December 9, 2025
    • New Lynn
  • December 12, 2025
  • Auckland Domain Bandstand New Comedy
    • December 12, 2025
    • Parnell
  • December 16, 2025
  • Jellicoe Park, Onehunga
    • December 16, 2025
    • Onehunga
  • December 19, 2025
  • Selwyn Domain, Mission Bay
    • December 19, 2025
    • Mission Bay
  • December 23, 2025
  • Henderson Comedy Open Mic
    • December 23, 2025
    • Henderson

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