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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: December 2025

A Bad Cold?

A Bad Cold?

I really like my new name.

I am now called “It’s just a bad cold.”

—

The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 21, 2025December 18, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

Security Guards

Security Guards

If Luxon does end homelessness, who’s going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 20, 2025December 13, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Coalition, Comedy, Luxon, NZComedy, Shop Doorways, Unemployed

Unemployed Woman Missing

Unemployed Woman Missing

The homeless woman that normally begs outside the Newmarket burger bar wasn’t there today.

I hope she’s gone somewhere nice for her vacation.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 19, 2025December 13, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Burger, Comedy, NZComedy, Unemployed, Woman

Unemployed

Unemployed

Nobody needs to be unemployed in this country.

You can always get a job sitting outside Burger bars asking for spare change.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 18, 2025December 13, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Burger, Comedy, NZComedy, Unemployed

Typos

Typos

A typo prone friend asked if his jokes were any god so I printed them and put one on each of fourteen fresh graves.

No resurrections yet.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 17, 2025December 13, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Friends, NZComedy, Typos

SciFi

SciFi

I’m writing a book about a science fantasy author who secretly writes romances.

It’s transgendre literature.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 16, 2025December 12, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Author, Comedy, NZComedy, SciFi

Air Band

Air Band

The set was ruined because the air guitar was out of tune & the air drummer’s tempo was worse.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 15, 2025December 12, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Air Guitar, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy

Clearing Customs

Clearing Customs

My brother took ages to clear customs.

In retrospect it was probably a mistake to send him a txt asking if they’d found the drugs yet?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 14, 2025December 12, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Airport, AucklandComedy, Comedy, Customs, Drugs, NZComedy, Text Message

Solar is the Future

Solar is the Future

It’s dawned on me that solar power is the answer, but it won’t happen overnight.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 13, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Future, NZComedy, Solar

Flight Delayed

Flight Delayed

At Auckland airport waiting for my brother.

Before I left home 1/2 hour ago flight was 13 min early now 17 late.

Did it stop while I drove?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 12, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Airport, AucklandComedy, Comedy, Flight, NZComedy, Plane

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Events

  • January 27, 2026
  • Henderson Comedy Open Mic
    • January 27, 2026
    • Henderson
  • January 30, 2026
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    • January 30, 2026
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  • February 6, 2026
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  • February 13, 2026
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    • February 13, 2026
    • Point Chevalier
  • February 17, 2026
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • February 17, 2026
    • New Lynn

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