Julia: One day the stars will align.
DEATH: Yes! On 6 May 2492. It’s the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus’ first trip.
Month: January 2026
Salads
DEATH: Add extra colour to your salads with these pretty red mushrooms.
Virgins
Stop sending me virgins …
Do I look like a chaperone?
Conspiracy Theory
Schrödinger’s conspiracy theory: You can’t tell if it’s real or not until the FBI lets you subpoena the records.
Similarity
Has anyone else noticed the similarity between Baron Trump and Eddie Munster?
I wonder if they could be related?
Queue Jumping
Julia: I think I am dying.
DEATH, The Grin Reaper: I’m awfully busy, wait your turn Julia.
Festival Show
That’s settled then, my first festival show will be named “I only live this shit, I don’t understand it too!”
Phase
“Don’t worry about being alive. I know it’s just a phase you’re going through, you’ll grow out of it.” The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.
Kill or Die
Some comedians will kill. Others will die.
Either way I’m happy.
Walls
JFK: Ich bin ein Texaner.
Ronald Regan: Mr Trump tear down this wall.