Comedian – Julia Clement

Break a Leg

I’m a comedian not an actor.

Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”

When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”

Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?

DEATH says “They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

“I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me …

“I hate zombies.”

[followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

(Reposted to match theme of last two days)

Being taken seriously as a comedian only sounds like an oxymoron.

Coulrophobia: Fear of clowns, but no word for fear of comedians?

AREN’T WE SCARY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.

Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.

DEATH: All good. Either way suits me.

Some comedians will kill. Others will die.

Either way I’m happy.

“They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.” [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

OK Julia, you’re supposed to be a comedian.

Think of something funny to say.