Be careful what you wish for.
You might find a specialist who will prescribe it.
Air Miles
London to Sofia 2,013 km; Auckland to Sydney 2,223 km.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
Sleeping Dogs
My dog growls when he dreams.
I think he’s been sleeping ruff.
New Names
Ever noticed how they like to invent new names for old things so they can claim they’re a new idea.
Take driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”
Writer’s Block?
I don’t have writer’s block!
I’ve been possessed by the ghost of Marcel Marceau!
Between the Ears
Gender is what’s between the ears, not what’s between the legs
…
My gender must be wax.
Half Cup
“Optimists say the cup is half full Pessimists say the cup is half empty. Julia doesn’t care as long as the half that’s there is coffee.”
— a former co-worker
Yachts
Do yachts have “Sail by” dates?
Whiskey
If God had meant us to put ice in our whiskey they never would have given us the Sahara Desert!
Too Soon?
65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs, including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.
Too soon?