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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Cuppa Tea?

Cuppa Tea?

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 25, 2026May 24, 2026Format StatusCategories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Cup Of Tea, Drink, NZComedyLeave a comment on Cuppa Tea?

Death Lives

Death Lives

The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it’s doing live comedy.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 24, 2026May 23, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Live Comedy, NZComedyLeave a comment on Death Lives

Horsing Around

Horsing Around

The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics.

Team managers say “Next time we’ll try hooves.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 23, 2026May 22, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Equestrian, Hooves, NZComedy, OlympicsLeave a comment on Horsing Around

Fasthoods

Fasthoods

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” — Mark Twain.

Except he didn’t say it! A meta-lie.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 22, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Lie, NZComedy, TruthLeave a comment on Fasthoods

Floral?

Floral?

I keep coming back as a flower.

It’s a bad case of reincarnation.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 21, 2026May 20, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, ReincarnationLeave a comment on Floral?

Pizza

Pizza

Pizza?

Hell1A New Zealand pizza chain that makes really nice pizza yes!

Other brands, not so much!2Except I really like the pizza I make at home also

Notes

  • 1
    A New Zealand pizza chain that makes really nice pizza
  • 2
    Except I really like the pizza I make at home also
Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 20, 2026May 20, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Fast Food, Food, Hell's Pizza, NZComedy, PizzaLeave a comment on Pizza

Can’t Stop

Can’t Stop

Make America great again.

Make cheese grate again.

Make Kool-Aid grape again.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 19, 2026May 18, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedyLeave a comment on Can’t Stop

Insomnia

Insomnia

It’s better to have dreamed and wakened than to suffer incurable insomnia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 18, 2026May 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Insomnia, NZComedy, Slept, WokeLeave a comment on Insomnia

It’s a fake

It’s a fake

Winter’s not real.

It’s just a plot by Big Puffer Jacket!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 17, 2026May 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, ConspiracyTheorists, NZComedy, Puffer Jacket, WinterLeave a comment on It’s a fake

Gone, but not forgotten.

Gone, but not forgotten.

It was over 100 years ago.

One way or another Schrödinger’s cat is dead.

(In reality it was in November 1935 that Schrödinger published, so this posting has obviously come through a wormhole from 9 or more years in the future. Quantum!)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 16, 2026May 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Cats, Comedy, NZComedy, Schrodinger, SchrödingerLeave a comment on Gone, but not forgotten.

Posts pagination

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Recent Posts

  • Cuppa Tea?
  • Death Lives
  • Horsing Around
  • Fasthoods
  • Floral?

Recent Comments

  • Ryan2one3 on Horsing Around
  • Sport Channel on Horsing Around
  • Miss Fidget on Floral?
  • Food & Drink Channel on Pizza
  • Pascal Drabik on Gone, but not forgotten.

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