Covid scare: I was eating out & couldn’t taste my food.
Then I remembered I was in McDs.
Phew!
Tag: AucklandComedy
507 Sexes
Physarum polycephalum is a slime mold with 507 sexes.
Can you imagine what their version of Tindr must be like?
I can’t get no satisfaction
Schrödinger could never tell if his girlfriend was satisfied or not.
Flat tyre.
Q: How many homophobes does it take to change a tyre?
A: One, the others stay in the car so they don’t touch his bum.
Loyalty Card
I’ve started a loyalty scheme for my fans …
Every 10th joke is free!
Waiting Room
In the doctors waiting room.
The magazines untouched while all the patients use our devices. I check a cover … older than the iPhone 1
Closet
I had to come out of the closet.
It was full of dresses that no longer fitted.
Lipstick
When I say I fix up my lipstick after smoking, I mean I can only find my lipstick when I’m searching my handbag for a lighter!
Bill
Forget to pay the exorcist and be repossessed.
Early Bird Special
We have a super early bird special for people who already have worms.