Comedy – Page 2 – Julia Clement

Computer Programmer

I’m a computer programmer so I deal in numbers.

Zero and one to be precise!

I have diarrhoea & feel wobbly. I told you my cooking at home wasn’t safe.

I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.

Hmmm.

Safer to dine out.

Don’t say “Homeopathic”, call it what it is “Homeopathetic.”

(Repost)

Homeopathic cure for drowning: Start with water & dilute it with water until there is no water left.

Covid scare: I was eating out & couldn’t taste my food.

Then I remembered I was in McDs.

Phew!

Physarum polycephalum is a slime mold with 507 sexes.

Can you imagine what their version of Tindr must be like?

Schrödinger could never tell if his girlfriend was satisfied or not.

Q: How many homophobes does it take to change a tyre?

A: One, the others stay in the car so they don’t touch his bum.

I’ve started a loyalty scheme for my fans …

Every 10th joke is free!