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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: October 2025

Monsters (Halloween Repost)

Monsters (Halloween Repost)

Why do zombies eat brains?

Why do vampires avoid the sun?

Why do werewolves hump your leg?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 31, 2025October 30, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Monsters, NZComedy, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies1 Comment on Monsters (Halloween Repost)

Georges Méliès

Georges Méliès

Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ as a record of the first successful French moon shot.

It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 30, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, France, Georges Méliès, Moon Landing, NZComedy

New Zealand When?

New Zealand When?

Winston’s the laxative of NZ politics.

If he’s the answer, you really can’t give a shit.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 29, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Winston

Sunglasses

Sunglasses

You can always spot Aucklanders …

Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 28, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Auckland, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Sunglasses

PC?

PC?

Political correctness has not gone mad, it’s just on antidepressants.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 27, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, PoliticalCorrectness

Measles

Measles

English measles: “I have measles.”

German measles: ,,Ich habe masern.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 26, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Measles, NZComedy, Rubella, Sick

Fast Food?

Fast Food?

The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.

You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 25, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Burger, Comedy, Fast Food, Heisenberg, NZComedy

Quackery

Quackery

Don’t say “Homeopathic”, call it what it is “Homeopathetic”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 24, 2025October 21, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homeopathetic, Homeopathy, NZComedy, Quackery

Pulled Pork

Pulled Pork

What’s the best thing about pulled pork?

You know the pig died happy.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 23, 2025October 21, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Pork, Pulled Pork

Jokes

Jokes

Jokes are like babies.

Everyone loves them but nobody wants to see them get made.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 22, 2025October 21, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Babies, Comedy, Jokes, NZComedy

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Events

  • December 9, 2025
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • December 9, 2025
    • New Lynn
  • December 12, 2025
  • Auckland Domain Bandstand New Comedy
    • December 12, 2025
    • Parnell
  • December 16, 2025
  • Jellicoe Park, Onehunga
    • December 16, 2025
    • Onehunga
  • December 19, 2025
  • Selwyn Domain, Mission Bay
    • December 19, 2025
    • Mission Bay
  • December 23, 2025
  • Henderson Comedy Open Mic
    • December 23, 2025
    • Henderson

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