Skip to content

Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement

Month: October 2025

Monsters (Halloween Repost)

Monsters (Halloween Repost)

Why do zombies eat brains?

Why do vampires avoid the sun?

Why do werewolves hump your leg?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 31, 2025October 30, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Monsters, NZComedy, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies1 Comment on Monsters (Halloween Repost)

Georges Méliès

Georges Méliès

Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ as a record of the first successful French moon shot.

It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 30, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, France, Georges Méliès, Moon Landing, NZComedy

New Zealand When?

New Zealand When?

Winston’s the laxative of NZ politics.

If he’s the answer, you really can’t give a shit.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 29, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Winston

Sunglasses

Sunglasses

You can always spot Aucklanders …

Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 28, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Auckland, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Sunglasses

PC?

PC?

Political correctness has not gone mad, it’s just on antidepressants.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 27, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, PoliticalCorrectness

Measles

Measles

English measles: “I have measles.”

German measles: ,,Ich habe masern.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 26, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Measles, NZComedy, Rubella, Sick

Fast Food?

Fast Food?

The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.

You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 25, 2025October 23, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Burger, Comedy, Fast Food, Heisenberg, NZComedy

Quackery

Quackery

Don’t say “Homeopathic”, call it what it is “Homeopathetic”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 24, 2025October 21, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homeopathetic, Homeopathy, NZComedy, Quackery

Pulled Pork

Pulled Pork

What’s the best thing about pulled pork?

You know the pig died happy.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 23, 2025October 21, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Pork, Pulled Pork

Jokes

Jokes

Jokes are like babies.

Everyone loves them but nobody wants to see them get made.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 22, 2025October 21, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Babies, Comedy, Jokes, NZComedy

Posts pagination

Page 1 Page 2 … Page 4 Next page

Events

<< Mar 2026 >>
MTWTFSS
23 24 25 26 27 28 1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31 1 2 3 4 5

Events

  • March 20, 2026
  • Pt Chev, Comedy in Coyle Park
    • March 20, 2026
    • Point Chevalier
  • March 24, 2026
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • March 24, 2026
    • New Lynn
  • March 27, 2026
  • Auckland Domain Bandstand New Comedy
    • March 27, 2026
    • Parnell
  • March 31, 2026
  • Jellicoe Park, Onehunga
    • March 31, 2026
    • Onehunga
  • April 3, 2026
  • Selwyn Domain, Mission Bay
    • April 3, 2026
    • Mission Bay

One Liners

Tweets by JuliaClementNZ

Recent Posts

  • Metric
  • Covert 19
  • Julia Clement’s Joke a Day
  • Selective
  • Inspire?

Recent Comments

  • Mathematics Channel on Computer Programmer
  • Food & Drink Channel on Home Cooking
  • Food & Drink Channel on COVID Scare
  • Tânia and Waldemar on Mathematics
  • ƧƿѦςɛ♏ѦਹѤʞ on Mathematics

Archives

  • March 2026
  • February 2026
  • January 2026
  • December 2025
  • November 2025
  • October 2025
  • September 2025
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • November 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • September 2017

Categories

  • 10 Years a Comedian, 3 in a Skirt
  • 50 Years
  • Ancestors
  • Animal Names
  • Conspiracy Theories
  • DEATH
  • General Info
  • Gigs
  • Joke-a-day
  • Series
  • Super Files
  • Uncategorized
  • Video Jokes
  • Website

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement Privacy Policy Proudly powered by WordPress