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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Category: Joke-a-day

Experimental Joke-a-day

Endoscopes

Endoscopes

With so many jokes on endoscopes relying on innuendo, I prefer to sit them out.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 25, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Endoscope, Innuendo, NZComedy

Trickling Down?

Trickling Down?

I refuse to surrender my country to people who think climate change is fake and trickle down is real.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 24, 2026July 21, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Coalition, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Trickle Down

Woke

Woke

The opposite of “Woke” is “Sleeping”.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 23, 2026July 21, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Sleeping, Woke

Xero

Xero

Why would I buy accounting software from someone who can’t even spell Zero?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 22, 2026July 21, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Software, ZeroAndOne

Winston Looston

Winston Looston

NZ politics is a case of Winston, Looseton.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 21, 2026July 19, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Winston

Water Tax

Water Tax

Was the Labour/Green proposed tax on water aimed at homeopaths?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 20, 2026July 19, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Tax, Water

Roomba

Roomba

Sibling Rivalry: My Roomba just choked itself trying to eat the big vacuum cleaner’s power cord.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 19, 2026July 17, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Roomba, Vacuum Cleaner

Rats

Rats

I’m unable to donate blood as when one of my medications is given in huge doses to pregnant rats it can cause birth defects.

Personally I’d rather my blood was given to humans, not rats.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 18, 2026July 17, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Blood, Comedy, Medication, NZComedy, Rats

LSD

LSD

LSD‘s original name was LSD-25.

Dr Albert Hofmann synthesized new forms until number 25 when flying purple giraffes blocked the lab’s portcullis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 17, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, LSD, NZComedy, Science

Dot Com?

Dot Com?

When I registered juliaclement.com, Godaddy suggested I should also register juliakind.com and juliamild.com.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 16, 2026July 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags DomainName, DotCom, Godaddy

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