I’m unable to donate blood as when one of my medications is given in huge doses to pregnant rats it can cause birth defects.
Personally I’d rather my blood was given to humans, not rats.
LSD
LSD’s original name was LSD-25.
Dr Albert Hofmann synthesized new forms until number 25 when flying purple giraffes blocked the lab’s portcullis.
Ho Ho Ho Bar
Santa’s favourite oil — Jojojoba.
Dot Com
When I registered juliaclement.com, Godaddy suggested I should also register juliakind.com and juliamild.com.
Monsters (Halloween Repost)
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
Subtext
Super Villain File
Name: Subtext
Origin: The same alien beam missed its mark and hit Olivia’s bitter rival, Helen Hint. Now possessing the ability to speak only in riddles and hidden meanings, she became Subtext, a villain dedicated to spreading confusion!
Aims: Dedicated to spreading confusion!
Foes: Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Obvious
Origin: Mild-mannered librarian Olivia Point was struck by a mysterious beam from an alien spacecraft, granting her the power to state the obvious so emphatically that it leaves her enemies dumbfounded! She took on the name Captain Obvious, battling crime with truth and simplicity.
Powers: States the obvious to confuse enemies.
Weaknesses: Is completely oblivious to sarcasm.
Foes: Subtext
Plasticor
Super Villain File
Name: Plasticor
Origin: Formerly a brilliant but unscrupulous scientist, Dr. Paul Tridax lost his hand in a freak accident involving synthetic polymers.
Replacing it with a plastic appendage, he found he could control all plastics and vowed to rid the world of metal, becoming the sinister Plasticor!
Powers: Controls all plastic materials.
Aims: Vowed to rid the world of metal
Foes: Magneta
Magneta
Super Hero File
Name: Magneta
Origin: On a stormy night, young inventor Maggie Sparks was struck by a bolt of lightning while experimenting with her latest gadget—a magnetic amplifier.
When she awoke, she discovered she had gained the power to attract all metal objects!
Now, as Magneta, she fights for justice, though she struggles with her unfortunate metal allergy.
Powers: Attracts all metal objects.
Weaknesses: Has a metal allergy.
Foes: Plasticor
Captain Kina
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Kina
Origin: Living a peaceful life eating seaweed when the same radiation leak that created TAXman changed their life for ever
Powers: A prickly character
Aims: To raise sea level to create ever larger fields of yummy kelp