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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Clearing Customs

Clearing Customs

My brother took ages to clear customs.

In retrospect it was probably a mistake to send him a txt asking if they’d found the drugs yet?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 14, 2025December 12, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Airport, AucklandComedy, Comedy, Customs, Drugs, NZComedy, Text Message

Solar is the Future

Solar is the Future

It’s dawned on me that solar power is the answer, but it won’t happen overnight.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 13, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Future, NZComedy, Solar

Flight Delayed

Flight Delayed

At Auckland airport waiting for my brother.

Before I left home 1/2 hour ago flight was 13 min early now 17 late.

Did it stop while I drove?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 12, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Airport, AucklandComedy, Comedy, Flight, NZComedy, Plane

Endoscopes

Endoscopes

With so many jokes on endoscopes relying on innuendo, I prefer to sit them out.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 11, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Endoscope, Innuendo, NZComedy

Trickle Down

Trickle Down

I refuse to surrender my country to people who think climate change is fake and trickle down is real.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 10, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Coalition, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Trickle Down

Woke or Sleeping?

Woke or Sleeping?

The opposite of “Woke” is “Sleeping”.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 9, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Woke

Xero?

Xero?

Why would I buy accounting software from someone who can’t even spell Zero?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 8, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Accounting, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Software, ZeroAndOne

Winston

Winston

NZ politics is a case of Winston, Looseton.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 7, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Winston

Water Tax

Water Tax

Was the Labour/Green proposed tax on water aimed at homeopaths?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 6, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homeopathetic, NZComedy, Tax, Water

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry: My Roomba just choked itself trying to eat the big vacuum cleaner’s power cord.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 5, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Roomba, Vacuum Cleaner

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