AucklandComedy – Page 14

Change Now

A shart is just nature’s way of reminding you to change your underwear.

I think I’ll start a beauty parlor promoted as “By bad spellers for poor readers.”

I’ll call it Heredressers.

I think my Google-foo is failing.

I typed in my symptoms & it said I have cannelloni.

Not even close, my pastaia swears I had fettuccine.

I’ve dropped all my jokes about polygons … too edgy.

After decades of slaving in the data mines I’ve caught hexadecaphobia.

All the bugs in programs I write are lovingly hand crafted.

My new diet is so strict I’m only allowed micronutrients.

Are the people who vape vapers or vapists?

Either way don’t ever call them vapid!

Being taken seriously as a comedian only sounds like an oxymoron.

Nothing is certain in this world except death and taxis.