So let’s get this straight.
Harriet Potter was forced to stay in the closet by her transphobic uncle & aunt?
Tag: Comedy
Decaf
Q: Where is decaf coffee made?
A: Ground zero.
Mouse
If you want a picture of the future, imagine Mickey Mouse’s shoe stamping on a human face — forever.
(After George Orwell, 1984)
Poor Memory
Sometimes I forget I’m dead.
The woman who inherited my PC is baffled whenever she notices I’ve been posting on it.
Rugby
Rugby may be a game of two halves but circles are a game of 2π.
Something Funny
OK Julia, you’re supposed to be a comedian.
Think of something funny to say.
Hamlet
No spoilers please, but Hamlet does win in the end, doesn’t he?
I mean Shakespeare wouldn’t be such an amateur that the hero loses?
Swimsuit
Life guard at the pool said my swimsuit was too revealing then asked if I was male or female.
I replied “Then it can’t be that revealing.”
Mnemonic
I wrote a letter today and used the word “Mnemonic” four times.
Every single time I spelled it wrong, so I wrote this little mnemonic to remember it “Many Nematodes Eat Mushy Organic Noodles In Cafes” which would be great if only I could remember how to spell nematoads.
Recipes
My doctor told me I need a lighter diet so I wrote The Helium Cookbook.