NZComedy – Julia Clement

Fruit Trees

We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.

Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!

We give them money and they give us a certificate

Why do zombies eat brains?

Why do vampires avoid the sun?

Why do werewolves hump your leg?

Imagine 1950s social media.

Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply, then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.

(This is last night's post a few hours late after a server outage)

I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours … community spread.

There’s nothing funny about being funny.

I’ve finally convinced Autocorrect that I’m unlikely to say “I don’t give a water bird.”

Now for the rare occasion when I want to keep my duck.

Sheep are gregarious.

Named for Saint Gregory who taught them to bleat in harmony.

So many people catch Covid from household contacts we should mandate masks & distancing at home.

Nah, I’m waiting for shellac 78s to come back.

Better still wax cylinders.