August 2026 – Page 3 – Julia Clement

Stars Aligning

Julia: “One day the stars will align.”

DEATH: “Yes! On 6 May 2492. It’s the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus’ first trip.”

Julia: “I think I am dying.”

DEATH: “I’m awfully busy, wait your turn Julia.”

Some comedians will kill.

Others will die.

Either way I’m happy.

[The mythological character formerly known as DEATH]

David Seymore: Too many children are spreading Covid at school.

DEATH: Not wanting to endorse breathing, but can’t you limit it to their breaks?

DEATH: All berries are edible.

Some only once.

DEATH “They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.”

[followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life.

[The mythological character formerly known as DEATH]

Julia: I have a bad cold.

DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia.

I really like my new name.

I am now called “It’s just a bad cold.”

[The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.]

If Luxon does end homelessness, who’s going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight?