My doctor told me I need a lighter diet so I wrote The Helium Cookbook.
Waterview Tunnel
I wanted to take the Waterview tunnel, but someone told me where it came out.
SPOILER!
Eternal Life?
I intend to live forever, or die trying
(Paraphrase of Joseph Heller’s, Catch-22. Said about Yossarian.)
Trolls
I don’t understand how Internet trolls function.
How do they get decent WIFI under the bridge?
Side Splitting
Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.
Scalpers
Totally pissed off at the scalpers.
My show’s been on sale for 4 days and they still haven’t bought all the tickets.
Penis Jokes?
I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.
Blue Whales
Question on a quiz show: The main food of Blue Whales is?
- Krill,
- Anchovies,
- Sardines?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
Winter Solstice
The Winter solstice is at 8:24PM 21/6/26.
After this the days will get longer.
Too Close?
Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.