Why did the chicken cross the toad?
Because it was a poor typist!
Author: A Joke A Day
Toilet Paper
No need to bulk buy toilet paper.
Unwind it to get more than one wipe per roll.
Caesar
Caesar said “Veni, vidi, feci sem”
(I came, I saw, I made salad)
Airline Pilot
Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?
Butter
I’ve just realised.
Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.
Supersize Me
I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day.
It’s called “Lick my fingers”
Cup Of Tea
I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.
Death Live
The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it’s doing live comedy.
Equestrians
The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics.
Team managers say “Next time we’ll try hooves.”
Lie
“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
— Mark Twain.
Except he didn’t say it!
A meta-lie.