Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.
Author: A Joke A Day
Home Cooking
I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.
Hmmm.
Safer to dine out.
You Do The Maths
Don’t ever say to a geek “You do the maths.”
We’ll stare at the ceiling for 5 minutes then say “72”, by which time you’ve forgotten the question.
Writers Block?
I don’t have writer’s block!
I’ve been possessed by the ghost of Marcel Marceau!
Inspire
It’s better to inspire than to expire!
Yachts
Do yachts have “Sail by” dates?
Early Bird
We have a super early bird special for people who already have worms.
Recruiter
I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.
Drowning
Homeopathic cure for drowning: Start with water & dilute it with water until there is no water left.
Hiding
Because of the bad publicity, Covid-19 has gone into hiding & is now named Covert-19.