I don’t want to seem irrational but I can never remember if numbers are real or imaginary or both and that’s integral to a complex problem!
Tag: Comedy
Occam’s Grooming Tools
I’ve come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass Occam’s razor in favour of Occam’s epilator!
Toilet Paper Shortage
Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.
Break a Leg
I’m a comedian not an actor.
Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”
When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”
Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?
Fruit Trees
We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.
Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!
We give them money and they give us a certificate.
Comedian Died (Repost)
DEATH says “They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?
“I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me …
“I hate zombies.”
[followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]
(Reposted to match theme of last two days)
European Tour (Repost)
Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?
A: VW Zombis.
(Repost to go with theme of yesterday’s post)
Zombies
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
1950s
Imagine 1950s social media.
Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply, then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.