Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?
Tag: Comedy
Lonely?
You can’t call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.
Epilator
The epilator took 15 years to develop.
One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.
Monsters (Halloween Repost)
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
Georges Méliès
Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ as a record of the first successful French moon shot.
It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.
New Zealand When?
Winston’s the laxative of NZ politics.
If he’s the answer, you really can’t give a shit.
Sunglasses
You can always spot Aucklanders …
Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.
PC?
Political correctness has not gone mad, it’s just on antidepressants.
Measles
English measles: “I have measles.”
German measles: ,,Ich habe masern.”
Fast Food?
The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.
You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.