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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Tag: Comedy

Bike Tyre

Bike Tyre

The Earth may not be flat but my bike’s rear tyre is.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 17, 2025October 15, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Bikes, ChangingTyre, Comedy, NZComedy

Italian Washing Machine

Italian Washing Machine

I once lived in an apartment with a Smeg washing machine.

It worked well but to wash my underwear I needed to carefully clean the bowl first.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 16, 2025October 15, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Washing, WashingMachine

Birds

Birds

I looked up cormorants and shags on Wikipedia.

Seems the only difference is cormorants lack crests and the crested birds just want to shag.

Text: I looked up cormorants and shags on Wikipedia.

Seems the only difference is cormorants lack crests and the crested birds just want to shag.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 15, 2025October 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Birds, Comedy, cormorants, NZComedy, shags

Incompetence

Incompetence

I’m convinced AI stands for “Artificial Incompetence.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 14, 2025October 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AI, Artificial Intelligence, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy

Cross the Toad

Cross the Toad

Why did the chicken cross the toad?

Because it was a poor typist!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 13, 2025October 8, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Chicken, Comedy, CrossThetoad, NZComedy, Spelling

Toilet Paper

Toilet Paper

No need to bulk buy toilet paper.

Unwind it to get more than one wipe per roll.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 12, 2025October 8, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Bulk Buying, Comedy, NZComedy, ToiletPaper

Caesar

Caesar

Caesar said “Veni, vidi, feci sem” (I came, I saw, I made salad)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 11, 2025October 8, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Caesar, Comedy, Food, NZComedy, Salad

Uniforms

Uniforms

Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 10, 2025October 8, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Airline, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Pilots, Uniform

KFC

KFC

I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day.

It’s called “Lick my fingers”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 8, 2025October 5, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Diet, KFC, NZComedy

Tea?

Tea?

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on October 7, 2025October 5, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Cup Of Tea, NZComedy

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