NZComedy – Page 9 – Julia Clement

Surgery

My friend lost a lot of weight off her belly because of surgery that went wrong.

She was gutted.

Syria only has 233 hectares (575 acres) of forest.

Why then did Assad regime Generals go on TV in Jungle camouflage?

“They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.” [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life.

(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)

Ironic that the “killer app” to get us all live-streaming our creative endeavours was Covid-19.

Julia: I have a bad cold.

DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia.

I really like my new name.

I am now called “It’s just a bad cold.”

—

The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.

If Luxon does end homelessness, who’s going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight?

The homeless woman that normally begs outside the Newmarket burger bar wasn’t there today.

I hope she’s gone somewhere nice for her vacation.

Nobody needs to be unemployed in this country.

You can always get a job sitting outside Burger bars asking for spare change.