“Optimists say the cup is half full Pessimists say the cup is half empty. Julia doesn’t care as long as the half that’s there is coffee.”
— a former co-worker
Month: January 2026
Yachts
Do yachts have “Sail by” dates?
Whiskey
If God had meant us to put ice in our whiskey they never would have given us the Sahara Desert!
Too Soon?
65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs, including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.
Too soon?
Jokes
Jokes: a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the quips.
Touring
Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?
A: VW Zombis.
(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)
English Language
I just don’t understand the English language.
If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t homophones people who chat to gays?
Or iPhones with Grindr installed?
Airline Food
“Why is airline food so bad?”
“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”
Importer Syndrome
I think I’ve got importer syndrome.
That feeling all my success comes from overseas.
Ocker
There’s a new dating app out for people who want to date Australians. It’s called Ockr.
Their slogan is “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe.”