My friend lost a lot of weight off her belly because of surgery that went wrong.
She was gutted.
Camouflage
Syria only has 233 hectares (575 acres) of forest.
Why then did Assad regime Generals go on TV in Jungle camouflage?
Comedian Died?
“They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?
I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.” [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]
Closed Supermarkets
On Christmas day all the supermarkets and bottle stores are closed.
Disaster!
Where will Santa get his eggnog?
When someone describes a first world problem, I like to reply “Dreadful, that’s like something out of Dickens” shake my head & walk off …
I would have made a great Disney villain.
Laughing
DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life.
(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)
Killer App?
Ironic that the “killer app” to get us all live-streaming our creative endeavours was Covid-19.
Julia’s Sick
Julia: I have a bad cold.
DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia.
A Bad Cold?
I really like my new name.
I am now called “It’s just a bad cold.”
—
The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.
Security Guards
If Luxon does end homelessness, who’s going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight?
Unemployed Woman Missing
The homeless woman that normally begs outside the Newmarket burger bar wasn’t there today.
I hope she’s gone somewhere nice for her vacation.