Idearrhea: What happens when your head can’t contain all your thoughts.
Earthquakes
Why are earthquakes centred 45 km underground?
Cowards!
Come up to the surface and fight fair you trembling tremors.
Bad Day
John suspected it was going to be a bad day when he saw his wife’s relationship status had changed to “Widowed”.
Washing Machines
I hate washing machines.
They are always stealing my material … especially socks.
Bifocals
There are none so blind as those who won’t wear bifocals.
Selfie
Waiting at the airport I just got asked by an old couple if I could take a selfie of them. #fail
Organics?
Organic food’s another name for an old idea.
My mum used to serve up steak and kidney, liver and bacon, sweetbreads, etc.
We just called it “Offal.”
Easter
Chocolate is highly toxic to rabbits.
This makes me wonder if the Easter Bunny gives humans chocolate in a lagamorphic attempt to wipe out humanity?
Censor
I hate the way autocorrect censors my posts.
Every fishing line.
Drink
All the bars and bottle stores being closed at Easter is driving me to drink.