Toilet paper shortage?
I’m switching to a low fibre diet for the duration.
Numbers
I don’t want to seem irrational but I can never remember if numbers are real or imaginary or both and that’s integral to a complex problem!
Occam’s Grooming Tools
I’ve come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass Occam’s razor in favour of Occam’s epilator!
Winnie the bear
True story and not a joke. Some time in the early 1920s Christopher Robin Milne is feeding condensed milk to a bear named Winnie at London Zoo.
Milne named his toy bear after Winnie and his father made a famous book or two featuring the pair of them and some other toys.
Commemorating the 100th anniversary of the publication of the first Winnie-the-Pooh book in 1926.
Toilet Paper Shortage
Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.
Break a Leg
I’m a comedian not an actor.
Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”
When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”
Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?
Fruit Trees
We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.
Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!
We give them money and they give us a certificate.
Comedian Died (Repost)
DEATH says “They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?
“I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me …
“I hate zombies.”
[followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]
(Reposted to match theme of last two days)
European Tour (Repost)
Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?
A: VW Zombis.
(Repost to go with theme of yesterday’s post)