March 2026 – Page 3 – Julia Clement

Selective

On the stage everything I said was true, but not everything was said. Not that I was selective with the truth, I only had 20 minutes.

It’s better to inspire than to expire!

Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.

I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.

Did my first serious bit of coding in 18 months yesterday & this morning this.

It’s an omen I tell you.

An omen!

I’m a computer programmer so I deal in numbers.

Zero and one to be precise!

I have diarrhoea & feel wobbly. I told you my cooking at home wasn’t safe.

I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.

Hmmm.

Safer to dine out.

Don’t say “Homeopathic”, call it what it is “Homeopathetic.”

(Repost)

Homeopathic cure for drowning: Start with water & dilute it with water until there is no water left.