A Joke A Day – Page 4 – Julia Clement

Whiskey

If God had meant us to put ice in our whiskey they never would have given us the Sahara Desert!

Schrödinger could never tell if his Girlfriend was #satisfied or not.

Jokes: a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the quips.

In the doctors waiting room.

The magazines untouched while all the patients use our devices. I check a cover … older than the iPhone 1

(Last time I was in my Doctor’s Waiting room I noticed that the magazines were gone … obviously this joke needs retiring.)

Definition of irony: I just discovered my recycling bin has no recycling mark.

Meaning when it wears out or the council changes it I’ll have to send it to the landfill.

Did my first serious bit of coding in 18 months yesterday & this morning this.

It’s an omen I tell you. An omen!

Be careful what you wish for.

You might find a specialist who will prescribe it.

I was eating out & couldn’t taste my food.

Then I remembered I was in McDs.

Phew!

The metric system seems natural to us as we have 5 digits on each hand, 10 in total.

A few countries like 12, for exactly the same reason.

On the stage everything I said was true, but not everything was said.

Not that I was selective with the truth, I only had 20 minutes.